"Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath."
This verse reminds me of my wedding day. We had to travel to the Washington D.C. Temple so I received my endowment on the same day I was married. By the time our sealing came I was overwhelmed and everything was a blur. Through it all, I do remember one bit of counsel our sealer gave us that day.
He told us to always try to be the better of the two. Being better didn't mean you were the one that was right. The way we would be the better person is to be the first to apologize, to say we were sorry, and to forgive. I had never heard that before. It struck me as a truth I needed to live by to make a successful marriage. I was familiar with "let not the sun go down upon your wrath", but now I knew how.
I have practiced this counsel throughout my nearly 33 years of marriage. We have very rarely fought with each other. When we do get angry we will go to our separate rooms to cool off. Within minutes I know I need to go apologize. Doesn't matter who was right or wrong the fact is we fought. I can always say I'm sorry we fought. It can be a race to see who will say sorry first. Once we do that, I realize how foolish I was to even get upset. I have seen the wisdom of that counsel given years ago. The better person isn't the one to win the argument, its the one able to apologize first. There is such freedom in being able to say your sorry to a person and ask for forgiveness. I have used this not only with dealing with my husband but also with my children. The counsel given me on my wedding day was exactly what I needed to hear. It has preserved my marriage. I'm so glad I listened.
Day 90 Tami Fitzgerald Harris
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