"But I determined this with myself, that I would not come again to you in heaviness.
For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you."
I could just see Paul standing up in a fast and testimony meeting saying these words. I hear them so often when people stand up to give their testimony. They will remark how they don't want to cry. I am so glad I don't wear makeup anymore. It has given me the freedom to cry. I used to hold it in because I didn't want my mascara and other junk to run. Once I have had this freedom to cry, I can never go back to the confinement I once had.
I feel that to deny my tears is to deny the very spirit I am feeling. If that is the way the spirit wants to bear witness to me then I must let it. If I would not be ashamed to have the Savior see my tears, then having others see them will not embarrass me.
I have been so impressed with the young men in my ward. They will get emotional and cry when they bear their testimony or give talks. Nothing touches my heart more than to see a young man cry because the spirit has touched his heart. When a person pauses while speaking, because they are tearing up and beginning to cry, it just makes me pause too, because I know the spirit will speak truths to us.
I am finding now that while I am reading the scriptures that sometimes I will have the spirit just wash over me and tears will come to my eyes, right before I read what then touches my heart. In a way I know its coming even before I get there. I don't know why this witness has changed but I am glad it has. It's mine own little guide to know to slow down there is an important message for you coming. The witness of tears never disappoints me in its message.
Day 69 Tami Fitzgerald Harris
No comments:
Post a Comment