Today's favorite verse: Hebrews 12:5-6, 11
"And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby"
I know I have felt the chastening of the Lord. The sorest of which is because of my pride. I will think I am doing really well on some gospel principle and then get a little too prideful about it. The real root cause is losing my humility. Then the Lord needs to humble me which brings me great remorse.
Over the years from pondering on how things happen I can see a pattern in my life when I am ready for what would typically be a chastisement. I can feel it now before the actual event, but I don't really know how to explain it. Maybe its that I just feel the closeness I have to the Lord begin to fade.
During the sacrament while I sit and reflect on my standing with the Lord I can tell when something isn't right. I finally discovered I could pray to overcome my pride before He has to humble me. I will even tell Him, Lord I know I'm getting to prideful please help me to be humble. I want it to remain between me and the Lord and not with a public experience. Then I shut my mouth, try not to say anything and only listen. I have found this a much better way. I am still knowing I am being chastised but its only between me and Lord. Then I find He now sees me fit to teach me more. During the period of silence I see amazing correlations between gospel principles and new layers of understanding. I come to feel closer to the Lord. I see chastisement now as a good thing because not only does it keep me in check, it opens the door for further growth. I know not only myself better but also the Lord.
Day 134 Tami Fitzgerald Harris
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