Today's Favorite Verse: Mark 4:8

Today's Favorite Verse: Mark 4:8
"And other fell on good ground, and did yield fruit that sprang up and increased; and brought forth, some thirty, and some sixty, and some an hundred."

It made me think of this verse.

"Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." (Matthew 7:20)

It reminded me of a talk given by a young service missionary during Stake Conference yesterday. He is serving at the FamilySearch Center, and mentioned while serving there they will experience more baptisms than the proselyting missionaries. Of course, those that we perform vicious baptism for the dead need to accept what was done in their behalf, but I had never thought about it that way. I reflected on the living that I was instrumental in their conversion and baptism into the church, and then those that I have researched, entered into FamilySearch, prepared their names for baptism and then participated in their ordinances. The work beyond the veil has been bountiful. They are the reason I returned after my near-death experience. This is my life's work and fruit.

"And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!
And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!"
(Doctrine and Covenants 18:15-16)

Day 4085

Today's Favorite Verse: 2 Kings 6:15-17

Today's Favorite Verse: 2 Kings 6:15-17
"And when the servant of the man of God was risen early, and gone forth, behold, an host compassed the city both with horses and chariots. And his servant said unto him, Alas, my master! how shall we do?
And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.
And Elisha prayed, and said, LORD, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the LORD opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha."

These three chapters had so many glorious stories of Elisha. I thought how I would have loved to experience my eyes being opened and seeing all those horses and chariots of fire surrounding them. Then as I reflected on it I thought of my near death experience, and how long it took to recover from what I saw. Even praying was such an overpowering experience because of how close God was. I began to appreciate the veil, and living by faith. I think I would prefer not to see such things during my life time but to review them in the next life.

Day 3850

Today's Favorite Verse: Doctrine & Covenants 114:1

Today's Favorite Verse: Doctrine & Covenants 114:1
"Verily thus saith the Lord: It is wisdom in my servant David W. Patten, that he settle up all his business as soon as he possibly can, and make a disposition of his merchandise, that he may perform a mission unto me next spring, in company with others, even twelve including himself, to testify of my name and bear glad tidings unto all the world."

This is such an interesting revelation and story. David W. Pattern was told to settle up all his affairs in order to serve a mission. He did as he was commanded and six months later he died, the first martyr for the church. It does make me wonder if he knew the Lord meant the mission he would serve was on the other side of the veil. Words given by inspiration can have such an exact meaning. I received my patriarchal blessing at the age of 14. I had no idea then that the part of my days being extended would literally mean I would have a near death experience at the age of 29, and am now living that extension. Sometimes we don't understand the exact meaning at the time, but it's important to follow the counsel that comes with it.

Day 3703

Today's Favorite Verse: 1 Nephi 15:8-9

Today's Favorite Verse: 1 Nephi 15:8-9
"And I said unto them: Have ye inquired of the Lord?
And they said unto me: We have not; for the Lord maketh no such thing known unto us."

While Nephi is receiving instruction from the Lord on the vision his father had, his brothers are disputing with each other over the meaning of the vision. He finds them in this condition and is overwhelmed with grief, after-all he had seen the destruction of his people by his brother's descendants. Nephi goes to be by himself until he receives enough strength to speak with his brothers. The first thing he asks them is if they had inquired of the Lord? They hadn't, because they didn't have faith that they would receive answers. What I noticed is that Nephi is willing to explain the answers to his brothers' questions, but he does not tell them all that he saw. In fact I'm not even sure he told his brothers about his vision only that he had asked and had the answers for them. He wrote about his vision for future generations to learn from.

A memory came back to me about my near-death experience. Something that is not found in the story that is recorded. Before I became gravely ill I had been pondering and praying on a particular matter. It was my gospel question that I could not understand. I still don't feel to share that question. But, after my near-death experience I totally understood the answer. I had never asked for a near-death experience, I had never asked to see a vision. I had only pondered and asked for understanding. It wasn't with doubt, it was done in faith believing that understanding would come. Yet, it was this act of pondering on a specific gospel question that lead to a uniquely personal answer.

Day 3364

Today's Favorite Verse: Jacob 7:26

Today's Favorite Verse: Jacob 7:26
"And it came to pass that I, Jacob, began to be old; and the record of this people being kept on the other plates of Nephi, wherefore, I conclude this record, declaring that I have written according to the best of my knowledge, by saying that the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream, we being a lonesome and a solemn people, wanderers, cast out from Jerusalem, born in tribulation, in a wilderness, and hated of our brethren, which caused wars and contentions; wherefore, we did mourn out our days."

The part "and also our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream", stood out to me. I was just talking with my son about this during family scriptures. He mentioned that this whole situation the world is in, and our being sick with it and the Lord's hand in preparing how to treat us, all seems like we are in some dream. It reminded me of my near-death experience and the bishopric coming to give me a blessing. In it I was told "It would all appear as if it were a dream." How those words gave me so much comfort and peace. I wanted what I had been through to appear as if it were a dream. Now Jacob says this same thing. I told my son maybe it seems like a dream because we do not have fear as the world has fear. We have seen the hand of the Lord in so many ways. Not sure what the connection is, but there is something in having life seem like a dream. All I know is I prefer it this way.

Here is a scripture I will ponder on further.

"And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams:"
(Acts 2:17; also see Joel 2:28)

Day 1825

Today's Favorite Verse: 2 Nephi 19:2

Today's Favorite Verse: 2 Nephi 19:2
"The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light; they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined."

This verse made me think of the 138th section of the Doctrine and Covenants, a vision given to President Joseph F. Smith as he pondered on 1 Peter 3:18-20 and 1 Peter 4:6. This vision speaks of Christ's visit to the spirit world and the redemption of the dead. This is my personal scripture, for after my near-death experience I was told to read it and attend the temple to understand what I had seen. 

"And I wondered at the words of Peter—wherein he said that the Son of God preached unto the spirits in prison, who sometime were disobedient, when once the long-suffering of God waited in the days of Noah—and how it was possible for him to preach to those spirits and perform the necessary labor among them in so short a time.
And as I wondered, my eyes were opened, and my understanding quickened, and I perceived that the Lord went not in person among the wicked and the disobedient who had rejected the truth, to teach them;
But behold, from among the righteous, he organized his forces and appointed messengers, clothed with power and authority, and commissioned them to go forth and carry the light of the gospel to them that were in darkness, even to all the spirits of men; and thus was the gospel preached to the dead."
(Doctrine and Covenants 138:28-30)

I sat and watched the video "I Saw The Hosts of the Dead" this lovely spring like morning.

Day 1804

Today's Favorite Verse: Romans 6:5

Today's Favorite Verse: Romans 6:5
"For it we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection:"

This was a new thought to ponder on. Paul is speaking about the symbolism of Christ burial and resurrection in baptism. We are buried unto the death of our sins, and rise to the resurrection after. So after baptism we should walk in the likeness of the Savior. As Paul called it "walk in a newness of life." It reminded me of sometimes while in the temple I often stop and say to myself. "This is real". This isn't going through any motions, these promises and blessings are real and there is real meaning to everything I do.

While I take the sacrament I again remind myself of how real this ordinance is and the power of the gift of the spirit to always be with me, that it is real. I wish I could find the words to describe what I mean by having to stop and tell myself this is real. I know it stems from my near-death experience. When afterward I would walk around the house with both feet still planted on either side of the veil. I would say over and over to myself "I almost died". Then what would follow is this overwhelming thought about how real this life and the next life really is. Sometimes I just get so wrapped up in living that I forget how real the other side is. It's like I have to wake myself up to where I really am. 

Now I have one more thing to think about, and that is my baptism when I was only eight years old. It was real, and has meaning and purpose and wasn't just an act. I think it would be a very good thing to ponder on what it represented during the sacrament. For there is so much meaning there.   

Day 1625

Today's Favorite Verse: Luke 24:16

Today's Favorite Verse: Luke 24:16
"But their eyes were holden that they should not know him."

I love this chapter. I love the story of Jesus Christ appearing to his disciples after his resurrection. One thing I had pondered on is why were the two disciples on the road to Emmaus restrained from recognizing the Lord as he walked and opened the scriptures to them? I especially wondered this because in my near-death experience I know Satan appeared as the combination of people I had previously identified as being either spiritually or physically attractive. He did not appear as he truly would. He made his appearance such to confuse and attempt to deceive me. So why would the Lord appear in a similar manner, that I could naturally identify as deceiving? That would not fit who He is?

Then I realized I was looking at it with the eyes of being deceived and not what in this case it was, the eyes of faith. One being evil can only deceive. The Lord cannot, but he can test and try our faith. It was only through the spirit that he was first revealed. "Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?" What the disciples beautifully did on their walk with Jesus Christ on that road to Emmaus was bear testimony of Him. What the Savior did was open the scriptures up to them so they would come to recognize him. Isn't that exactly what I'm suppose to do?


Day 1570

Today's Favorite Verse: Isaiah 14:16

Today's Favorite Verse: Isaiah 14:16
"They that see thee shall narrowly look upon thee, and consider thee, saying, Is this the man that made the earth to tremble, that did shake kingdoms;"

I pondered on my near-death experience when I saw Satan. I was repelled by him and wanted to get away from him because I did not want him to know me. There was a panic, but I believe more so for my protection. I was never afraid of him, I just didn't want to be near or have part of him. He did not look at all like the evil demons made to terrorize in movies. He was a good looking man as a spirit. Though I do realize that he can appear anyway he wants for he is a great deceiver.

I know that when this life is done and I finally look upon Satan as he really is, I will simply say "Him, such a being as this we allowed so much control over us?"  With a body I have more than he will ever have. He is the scam artist many have sold themselves too. They will be disgusted with themselves for selling themselves to such a being as this. Comparing him next to the glory of the Father and the Son he will hold no worth or desire.

Day 1268

Today's Favorite Verse: Ecclesiastes 1:11

Today's Favorite Verse: Ecclesiastes 1:11
"There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after."

What is this talking about?  I believe it is the veil that is placed over my eyes and memory when I left my heavenly home to come to earth. Here I am able to freely be tried and tested with such a veil in place. I have come to love the veil. After my near-death experience I understood the importance of having the veil and needing to walk by faith. It took a while to come back and it rightfully needed to. Now the words of the blessing I was given in the hospital are true. "It would seems as if it were all a dream."  In ways it is and I am grateful. You cannot walk this earth with a foot still in the other. 

I also do not need to see my future. I know I did, but its not meant to remember it. There is beauty in this journey of faith. I have often reflected on Nephi and how much harder that walk back alone to Jerusalem to obtain the brass plates from Laban would have been. It was right that he did not have all the details. 

"And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do."
(1 Nephi 4:6)

Walking in faith he could do the Father's will when called to slay Laban. There is mercy in the Father's plan of having me walk in faith. I am never alone for the spirit will guide and the Lord will be by my side all the way. Through faith I am made stronger. It is as it should be.

Day 1235

Today's Favorite Verse: Psalms 45:17

Today's Favorite Verse: Psalms 45:17
"I will make thy name to be remembered in all generations: therefore shall the people praise thee for ever and ever."

I may leave this earth and be forgotten here. But, I know in the next life generations before me will praise me for the work I did in their behalf in the temples of our God. I've already seen them, I know they are there. I will never forget seeing untold numbers streaming out of paths before me during my near-death experience. My life's work had an influence on them. Every name on a card that I carry in the temple represents one of them. There is so much work to be done, one name, one person at a time.

Day 1098

Today's Favorite Verse: Job 16:19-20

Today's Favorite Verse: Job 16:19-20
"Also now, behold, my witness is in heaven, and my record is on high.
My friends scorn me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God."

God was a witness to all Job went through. He alone knew of Job's faithfulness. What I pondered on is that God also knew how Job's friends treated him and judged him. It made me think of how many interactions I have had with others that is also recorded in heaven with theirs. I think about my story, but I haven't thought of being in the stories of others before. Then I remembered my near death experience and seeing people without numbers steadily streaming from these paths, and I knew that my life had an influence on theirs. Maybe that will be the final sum of things I am judge on.

"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."
(John 13:34-35)


Day 1027

Today's Favorite Verse: Job 7:1

Today's Favorite Verse: Job 7:1
"Is there not an appointed time to man upon earth? are not his days also like the days of an hireling?"

Yes, there is an appointed time for man on this earth. If it were not so I would not be here, after my near-death experience. I will not return to my God until my life's work is finished on this earth.


Day 1018

Today's Favorite Verse: Deuteronomy 10:9, 20

Today's Favorite Verse: Deuteronomy 10:9, 20
"Wherefore Levi hath no part nor inheritance with his brethren; the Lord is his inheritance, according as the Lord thy God promised him.
Thou shalt fear the Lord thy God; him shalt thou serve, and to him shalt thou cleave, and swear by his name."

I was rather feeling a little sorry for myself. I was seeing and hearing others joyfully sharing about their travels and events they have attended. This is my sorrow, a desire to go and see things but never have the time or money to do so. I was feeling rather down, and tried very hard to cheer myself. I want to have joy for the blessings others have, and not sorrow on hearing their fortunes. They are good people and deserve all the blessings they receive. I would not want it, if it took it away from them.

Then I read this about the Levites. They received no inheritance while the other children of Israel did. Did some of them sit there like me and look at what others had and feel some sorrow?  I'm sure they did. The Lord was their inheritance, but he was also an inheritance available to the other children of Israel. Did some just get more than others? Then I pondered on my relationship with the Lord, how special that was to me. If that was to be dimmed so I could have "more" would I even want it? My answer would be no. I think I'm actually getting what I was promised before I even came here to earth. It was what mattered to me then, and what I wanted most while here. For me to have the shinny things, that bring me sorrow to look upon now, would probably bring me sorry later. Everyone has their temptations and they are not all the same. I have to trust that a wise and loving God knows what is best for me. I know in the end all things will be compensated for.

As I sat and pondered on my blessings I realized I have taken a trip that very few people ever have. It is a trip that money cannot buy. I visited the spirit world during my near-death experience. I have seen things that people that have traveled the globe would given everything to see.  What I saw and learned, and where I now stand is worth everything. What I sorrowed over would only cheapen it. I have been truly blessed beyond measure. How could I have forgotten what the Lord has done for me. What a gift that in my sorrow and pondering I now can put these two things together. I will turn to the trip I did take, that only comes by special invitation. I would not change a thing. I am so grateful to have pondered on these things today. I have found peace.


Day 738

Today's Favorite Verse: Numbers 4:3, 47

Today's Favorite Verse: Numbers 4:3, 47

"From thirty years old and upward even until fifty years old, all that enter into the host, to do the work in the tabernacle of the congregation.

From thirty years old and upward even unto fifty years old, every one that came to do the service of the ministry, and the service of the burden in the tabernacle of the congregation."

Some variation of this verse is mentioned seven times in this chapter. There must be something about being thirty. I read the footnote. 

"And Jesus himself began to be about thirty years of age, being (as was supposed) the son of Joseph, which was the son of Heli," (Luke 2:23)

It appears to be a type and shadow of when the Savior would also begin his ministry. I thought about when I was thirty. I was recovering from my near-death experience. It was a birthday I thought I would never see. I think I needed to be thirty to go through that. Wise enough to be an adult with some experience, but young enough to still be moldable. Of course, I wasn't called to a ministry, but I can see the wisdom of beginning service to the Lord at that age. 

It makes me think about a discussion I had during family scripture reading with my son in his thirties. We were talking about how some people say they feel inside like they are still a teenager or young adult. We all agreed we don't feel that way at all. At the time I couldn't figure out what age I felt like. I just felt like me. Thinking on it now I think I'm stuck at thirty on the inside, but getting smarter as the years go by.

Day 696

Today's Favorite Verse: Doctrine & Covenants 138:12, 15-16, 18

Today's Favorite Verse: Doctrine & Covenants 138:12, 15-16, 18

"And there were gathered together in one place an innumerable company of the spirits of the just, who had been faithful in the testimony of Jesus while they lived in mortality;

I beheld that they were filled with joy and gladness, and were rejoicing together because the day of their deliverance was at hand.

They were assembled awaiting the advent of the Son of God into the spirit world, to declare their redemption from the bands of death.

While this vast multitude waited and conversed, rejoicing in the hour of their deliverance from the chains of death, the Son of God appeared, declaring liberty to the captives who had been faithful."

This chapter records a vision received by Joseph F. Smith, October 3, 1918. He was the son of Hyrum Smith, nephew to the Prophet Joseph Smith. At this time in his life he was the President and Prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have always considered the 138th section of the Doctrine and Covenants mine. I have cherished it since the spirit told me to read it after my near-death experience. I was also told to go to the temple in order to understand what I saw. I have read it many time as the spirit has impressed upon me the need to do so once again. I have felt no need to endlessly pour over it. In fact I know I need distance so my eyes will see new things. For the past 24 years my reading has focused on the Redemption of the Dead. 

I had the tender mercy of the Lord to have my day to read this chapter also fall on my temple day. I was able to sit alone in the Celestial Room and read and ponder on it. In this holy place, having done work in behalf of my kindred dead, the spirit surprisingly had me focus on something other than doing family history work. 

What caused me deep reflection was how similar the day will be for the saints as we wait for the Savior's Second Coming. I reflected on what I could recall of President Russell M. Nelson, of the Quorum of the Twelve, recent General Conference talk about "Joy and Spiritual Survival". What we need to focus on is having joy in these last days. That joy comes as we focus on the Savior, regardless of our trials. The saints of God waiting in spirit prison, rejoiced and had joy as they waited for the Savior to appear. Releasing them from their bondage and captivity caused by death. I reflected on how important joy was in their preparation to meet the Savior. I feel that the saints prior to the Savior's return to the earth will be capable of experiencing that same joy, even if death is looking them in the face. In fact finding joy in the gospel plan is the only way to endure what is to come. There was so much more I pondered on. I am seeing this chapter with new eyes. I cannot wait to read Elder Nelson's conference talk again.

Day 557

Today's Favorite Verse: D&C 116:1

Today's Favorite Verse: Doctrine & Covenants 116:1

"Spring Hill is named by the Lord Adam-ondi-Ahman, because, said he, it is the place where Adam shall come to visit his people, or the Ancient of Days shall sit, as spoken of by Daniel the prophet."

This is the only verse in the chapter. I just sat and pondered on what it would be like to be in Adam-ondi-Ahman when Adam returns. I had to listen to the hymn "Adam-ondi-Ahman" which was sung at the Kirtland Temple Dedication, as I pondered. All I succeeded in doing was becoming incredibly homesick. I'm not for sure on what, but that is all I can describe it as. The only time I've even been homesick is when I was visiting my daughter in California and missed going to the temple three weeks in a row. I wasn't homesick for my family back in Utah, I talked to them everyday and did scriptures with them over the phone. I was homesick for the House of the Lord. I finally had to simply go to the temple to get better. Funny thing is today I was at the temple, it was a lovely session. So I have no idea what has made me homesick pondering on Adam-ondi-Ahman. Maybe it just made me homesick for heaven. I know in my near-death experience I came to understand how Adam could be called the Ancient of Days. Maybe things are to close to the surface in this verse and song.

Day 535

Today's Favorite Verse: D&C 50:31

Today's Favorite Verse: Doctrine & Covenants 50:31

"Wherefore, it shall come to pass, that if you behold a spirit manifested that you cannot understand, and you receive not that spirit, ye shall ask of the Father in the name of Jesus; and if he give not unto you that spirit, then you may know that it is not of God."

I know that Satan can appear as an angel of light. He and his minions can deceive. This verse made me think back to my near-death experience and when I met him. He was the only one that could see me. He was also the only one I was not given his name or how I was related to him. All I wanted to do is be as far away from him as possible. This experience makes me understand how this verse fits. He is someone "you cannot understand". 

As I reflected on the manifestations of the Spirit there is never confusion. It is pure knowledge. The experiences are totally different. I think Satan totally capable of making one doubt themselves. With that doubt you will dwell on him and think it an issue with yourself being "worthy" to understand. With this doubt and confusion you will be taken into forbidden paths. This chapter gives very important guidance.

Day 469

Today's Favorite Verse: 1 Peter 4:6

Today's favorite verse: 1 Peter 4:6

"For for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit."

This is a second witness of the preaching of the gospel to those that have died. It's follows my thoughts yesterday. I ponder on how very busy I will be in the next life. I will be searching out my family relations and preaching the gospel to those that never had an opportunity to hear it in this life. I will be doing the same work I do here, without the obstacles of life in my way. When I leave this earth life I want to be very comfortable with my life there, from the experiences I have had in this one.

Day 144 Tami Fitzgerald Harris

Today's Favorite Verse: 1 Peter 3:18-20

Today's favorite verse: 1 Peter 3:18-20

"For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might brings us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit:

By which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison;

Which sometime were disobedient, when once the longsuffering of God waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were saved by water."

I am well acquainted with these verses. They are part of Doctrine and Covenants section 138, that I was instructed to read after my near-death experience. I saw the spirit prison, where Christ went after his death, while his body still laid in the tomb. 

He organized the preaching of the gospel to every soul that had not the opportunity in their lifetime to receive it. Those that did not have a chance for baptism. I saw all my relatives that needed their saving ordinances done. Those that accepted the gospel could not progress further and were bound in spirit prison. I marvel at how fair God is with all his children. They are denied no blessings if they will receive it. If circumstances in life prevented them from hearing his gospel, they are given the opportunity in the next. What a great work is going on, on both sides of the veil. 

If you think that what I say is not true, why then did Peter say Christ went to preach to the spirits in prison? Why would Christ teach people and then say, oh well to bad you missed that chance while you were on the earth. Sorry you were born a Gentile and that's just to bad. That would simply be cruel, and our Savior always had compassion and would never hurt in such a way. I know what I say is true, I am a witness to it, there is such a place where spirits are taught. On earth we can do proxy baptism and ordinances for them, all they need is to accept it. God loves his children and there is a way that all can be saved.

Day 143 Tami Fitzgerald Harris