Today's Favorite Verse: Helaman 15:7
"And behold, ye do know of yourselves, for ye have witnessed it, that as many of them as are brought to the knowledge of the truth, and to know of the wicked and abominable traditions of their fathers, and are led to believe the holy scriptures, yea, the prophecies of the holy prophets, which are written, which leadeth them to faith on the Lord, and unto repentance, which faith and repentance bringeth a change of heart unto them - "
I love the scriptures, and that is something I could not always say. I know I was suppose to, and it was always a good church answer. But they really weren't part of my life. I've had starts and stops of scripture reading throughout my life. I would go along real good and then something would break the cycle and it would take a while before I would start again. During really long breaks I would find when I returned to reading, it was like learning them all over again. I didn't feel I was making any progress. I just couldn't understand how people could recall any of the stories and where they were.
It was at least 6 years ago my hunger to read the scriptures returned. I had such a problem with my memory and comprehension after being sick for so long. I couldn't read and understand. The doctor told me I needed to read out loud to myself. My brain needed to hear the words and see the words too, so I could make the connection. I decided to try listening to the scripture recordings on LDS.org while I followed along. It worked. It was a few years of doing that before I slowly ventured to read by myself. Not sure how long, but I know its been baby steps.
If it wasn't for technology I would probably still be struggling with scripture reading. Not only did I need to hear the recording on LDS.org, but I also needed to read on the computer monitor or tablet to be comfortable. Holding heavy scriptures just hurt my hands. It's hard to read when your not comfortable. It took a while to adjust to a new format. In fact I thought I couldn't do it. There was something about remembering what the page looked like when I wanted to find something. The chapter began about here on the page kind of thing. Now I use the built in search features and its so much less stressful. If I can remember a word in the verse I can find it again. I find I actually search and reference more using these tools.
I would hear people at church say "I wrote this in my scripture margin." All of us would wait in awe at what profound thing they would say. I tried that several times in my paper version and I write to big. I was also rather OCD about making the page messy so highlighting stressed me out too. Now I can color and note my scriptures all I want because of the online tools. Everything is so neat and clean. With my LDS Account I can read scriptures on my computer and mark them. Then on the cell phone app I see all my bookmarks, notes and highlights. It's all rather exciting and freeing to have it right at my finger tips in whatever device I want to use.
The other thing I did was get rid of the institute manuals and books on understanding the scriptures. I never could figure out how the authors got that particular point out of what they just read. It just made me feel bad that I didn't get it. Often when I read that wasn't the part I was draw to in the story anyways. They had curious facts and tidbits but it didn't inspire me to feast on the scriptures. They weren't speaking to me. I just wanted to sit and read the scriptures and have the spirit speak to me. I found there was a whole internal curriculum waiting just for me.
I see now how I was guided. This was the way I needed to learn. The gift of recall is coming back to me. Its more than the physical connection from hearing, to seeing and understanding that has returned. It's learning to know my Savior. To love him and all that he's done for me. It's changed my heart, its changed my life. I love feasting on the scriptures, who needs TV. Don't ever take away my scriptures. I think my soul would break if they were gone. They are the most important part of my day now. I marvel at why figuring this all out, has taken me so long.
Day 352 Tami Fitzgerald Harris