"This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me."
Sometimes you wake up and realized your heart is far from God. The beautiful thing about that is, when you realize it, you're ready to come back.
Last night and into the morning, I had a long talk with myself and with God to find out what the problem is. Why do I feel so distant? Yesterday, was the first day in forever that my pain started to subside. Inspiration had came Wednesday night on what I needed to do and I obeyed. I see the miracle and have found relief. Now my eyes have been opened up about what I have done through my pain. Deep, deep down I sought comfort in food and not completely in the Lord. Oh, I did mercifully continue to pray, study and worship Him. I turned to Him in my darkest hours and he comforted me. Then when I divorced the spiritual from the physical I ate to comfort myself. I see now I can't do that. I cannot serve two masters.
What the natural man desires causes more pain, not healing.
"The natural man is an enemy to God." (Mosiah 3:19) That is what I turned to.
The Guide to the Scriptures describes the Natural Man as:
"A person who chooses to be influenced by the passions, desires, appetites, and senses of the flesh rather than by the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Such a person can comprehend physical things but not spiritual things. All people are carnal, or mortal, because of the Fall of Adam and Eve. Each person must be born again through the Atonement of Jesus Christ to cease being a natural man."
What I learned is it doesn't matter where I am on the path to eternal life. The natural man can turn my heart from God if I let it control me. The longer and further I let that happen the darker things become. Soon I would no longer seek or desire God. I am so grateful my eyes have been opened, right now where I stand. I am grateful God judges me on my heart and lets me change it.
Day 1519
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