"Have mercy upon me, O Lord; for I am weak: O Lord, heal me; for my bones are vexed.
My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O Lord, how long?"
I could not help but think of me. I have been in pain for months now with my rotator cuff. I can barely move my arm. I can't even run my fingers through my hair. I can hardly sleep for the pain of it. I've had a blessing and have not been healed, even though I was told I would be. I know I have the faith to be healed, for I have been healed many times in the past. All I know is that not being healed is the Father's will right now for me. What I am going through is what I must go through. I truly wish the Lord would have mercy on my poor arm. I don't know how long this must last. I don't know what the answer is yet for it either. I ask every day for help in finding out what I should do to heal this. Mostly I'm told it takes time.
The one thing I cannot say is that my soul is vexed. I feel no sorrow of being deprived, no anger for not having my prayers answered. I know that not being healed has a purpose. Someday I will understand all the whys. Time just takes patience and this experience will make me stronger in it. In the mean time I have plead for assistance in doing what I cannot do, that must get done, and have felt my arm supported just enough to get it done. I am grateful for those tender mercies while I am passing through what I must endure. Even though my prayers have not been answered it doesn't mean He has left me alone. That might be the greatest lesson I have learned out of it yet. I'm sure many more will come.
Update: Sometimes I am able to write my favorite verse several days in advance. Such is the case with this one. The day I wrote this I afterwards went over to friends for dinner. My friend told me about her frozen shoulder and how taking Glucosamine & Chondroitin helped her. I remembered taking this supplement years ago at the advice of a doctor with much success. I knew I needed to try this. I also received the impression to take my turmeric in the same dosage as I would Tylenol. With this combination within a day and a half I had relief. Each day has seen improvement, and I am filled with joy over it. I know it is healing.
I wondered for a moment if I should change what I wrote for today. Seeing it didn't apply to me now. Then realized no, I need to keep a record of this event, and the rest of the story with it. For I am sure that my feelings on the matter of being healed lead to me learning about what was needful to be healed. For faith without works is dead, and sometimes a little patience is needed too. Maybe this record will also help someone else.
Day 1059
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