Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Today's Favorite Verse: 1 Samuel 25:21

Today's Favorite Verse: 1 Samuel 25:21
"Now David had said, Surely in vain have I kept all that this fellow hath in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that pertained unto him: and he hath requited me evil for good."

Such an interesting "coincident" for me to read this story tonight after just having a very similar experience happen to me minutes before reading this. I had helped someone in need for a very long time, and I thought our relationship one I could ask a favor. Especially now that they were in a good place. Sadly, I saw a side of them I didn't realize existed. I could not believe the words that came from their mouth. I begged their pardon for asking and said it was fine, it was totally their decision.

I would be lying if I said it was not somewhat grieved a little inside. I had the thought "Why is it ok to have me help and support them, but not ok to ask for support in return?"  I asked myself if I would have invested so much time and effort in helping them in their want, if I knew how they would feel in my small need? No, I did what I needed to do because I loved them and they needed me. I would do it all again, and will probably have the same opportunities in the future. My behavior would not change either way.

Seeing that I had other resources I don't know why I felt to ask them. It just felt like the right thing to do. When I needed help I just thought of them. Maybe from this experience they needed to learn something about themselves. More than likely I needed to learn more about me. After-all there are no coincidences.

As I sat reflecting on all this I realized it was a good experience for me to go through. I could see growth in myself in how I react. Years ago I would have fumed and been angry and never wanted to help them ever again. I would have held a grudge for a very long time. I have none of that now inside of me. Yes, I had a moment of pain, honestly I cannot expect anyone to do things for me when they don't want to. I have no idea what may be going on in their life right now. I might think them in a good place, but obviously they are not. I am so grateful to the Lord that I have other resources to turn to.

Day 836

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